Connected from the Outside
by writermarie
Summary: Ellie's observation of her father's coping of Zoey's kidnapping: Spoilers---Through Season 5 premiere


Title: Connected from the Outside (1/1) Author: Marie E. Rossiter (writermarie2002@yahoo.com) Genre: General/Angst POV: Ellie Spoilers: "Ellie", "The War at Home" and "7A WF 83429" mentioned  
specifically. General other than that Notes: This is the first time in a while I've taken a crack at writing. My last  
piece "Was it Worth it in the End" got mired in RL issues and writer's  
block. So, I'm putting my toe back in the water to see if I have anything  
left to give to writing. Feedback: Would be lovely  
  
Daddy, I never thought that you'd get to see this.  
I never wanted anyone to see what I have seen.  
I debated on whether or not I should have even come here. I mean, what can I possibly say or do to make this even remotely better? Not a thing. What kind of help could I be, I thought.  
After all, the last in-depth conversation we had was when I was summoned to the White House for an entirely different reason. I pissed you off because I spoke to the press about how I knew you'd stand up for Aunt Millie. In the end, I was right and that probably ticked you off even more. You never like being wrong: a strong Bartlet trait I've inherited.  
I'm used to you being pissed off at me. I was never the doting daughter. You had two other girls to fill that role. I've felt like I've been playing catch up for longer than I can remember.  
I'm not used to this, though. This is a foreign concept.  
It's not like I haven't seen Mom and Liz mad before. We both know that's about as common as the sunrise. Why do you think I've made a habit of staying away so much? I have my own angst. Do I really need any more?  
Politics robbed us of our family, Daddy. And now it's robbed me of my sister.  
Do I blame you for this? God, I've wanted to. It would be so easy to say, "If only Dad didn't want become the President," or "If only he didn't assassinate Shareef." But, if the blame were that easy to lie, we'd have Zoey home now.  
You love the game of chess. Now we are life size pawns on the chessboard we call foreign policy. While you may be a master, Daddy, I'm not sure that you can capture the king in this match.  
Is that why you removed yourself from the game? Because you couldn't win? You've always been a pretty sore loser. You love the competition, as long as you come out on top.  
In this game, there will be no winners. Even if-I mean when-Zoey comes home, will there be any pieces of what was our life standing?  
Yes, Mom and Liz already have convicted you without the benefit of a trial. This jury, though, is still out. Besides, I know better than anyone that you blame yourself, so it really doesn't matter who else does or doesn't point the finger at you. You are your own judge and jury-and your sense of justice can be ruthless.  
  
I've always been the realist in the family, Daddy. You have been the dreamer. But, as I watch as the events of our lives play out around us, I see the dream dying. And, I'm not speaking of your political career. You have countless people working to treat the wounds inflicted there.  
The Bartlet Family Dream is dying, Daddy.  
How do I know it's that bad? When I'm the person left consoling you, what kind of commentary is that on the state of our family union?  
Maybe it's appropriate that I'm the one acting as the buffer in this storm. After all, I've seen the view from the outside for so long; I have it burned into my brain.  
I never thought you'd get to see what this looks like.  
What do you think of the view? Hell, I know how you feel. You want to close the gap, do whatever you can to tear down the barricades that have been built by broken promises and unfulfilled expectations.  
The view is awful, isn't it, Daddy?  
But, I can help you. I'm here for you. Lean on me. I won't abandon you.  
I pray to God that Zoey is found quickly. Look how many years it took you to find me, standing out here from the outside looking in.  
I just hope that once she's back, we can all go back inside together, pick up the pieces, and take this terrible game home.  
  
End 


End file.
